5 o'clock in the morning

i am about to do something i haven't done i a long time, that is, write without thinking much about what i am writing about, with the hope of may'haps revealing something hidden.

i am awake and though the sun is still yet in its resting place, i bother not about illumination for my laptop screen show enough light to see through. i am sane and my mind wonders, to the truth about my situation and the question of what tomorrow brings. like my father before me i wonder, i wonder when my dreams will see fruition and when my anguish will give way to smiles. I fear my freedom might not come before my world turns dark.

upon my bed my woman sleeps, wondering too, i bet, when her waiting will be over.

I blame myself, perhaps I made too many mistakes, maybe i did the wrong things at the wrong times. but I still want to try, Perhaps I will get it right this time. ohhh, other interests are pulling me away form this write up.