Very unromantic me

I have been accused severally over the years of being hopelessly unromantic, mostly by people who are not opportune to know me on a personal level, but I tend to think them wrong especially since I know myself better than they do.

Being a very private person, who tends to be talkative around people he knows, but very shy around strangers, I won’t say it’s their fault because people tend to get impressions of me from what they hear me say, which might be very little, much or nothing at all – depends on who I am talking to.

I am a romantic, very romantic – even if I say so. I just do not ascribe to those seemingly universal notions of romance; flowers, candle light dinners, teary movies, kneeling before her to propose and what not. No, I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with the overtly dramatic impulses that movies have made us believe romantic nature is. Na, I just feel that those of us that ascribe to the African notions of romance (which is not old fashioned, mind you, especially if you agree that the flower culture is much more than five centuries old) that best suites our environment and temperament.

I am an African male, very much attuned to his traditions, and for this I give no apologies

I love eating at home and I love my woman’s cooking. I love what she does with bitterleaf and cocoyam and I rather sit opposite her, eating her food, than in a cold (they all are) eatery munching expensive pastries and over-cooked chicken, prepared by who knows who (or what).

Call me old-school if you like, but I didn’t buy a ring when I proposed, neither did I get to go on my knees to do it. It just happened; I didn’t even plan to do it that day, though it had been on my mind for months. I just finished eating her special egusi and semovita and though ‘what the heck’ this babe has been too good to me and I suddenly couldn’t bear the thought of not being with her forever.

What I am saying in a nutshell is this, if anyone thinks I am not romantic because my nature prefers me spending ‘secluded’ time with my woman and not exaggerating my affection just for people to see this love I know I feel deeply, then that person is obviously blind to what romance is.

True, I do not begrudge anyone their candle light dinners, flowers and cards, but I rather cradle her as she munches her favourite suya, help her peel the yam and then pound the heck of it – the yam I mean – and play catch-me-if you-can with her spoon as I surreptitiously steal bits of meat from her frying pan. I even feel more at home picking the beans together with her than strolling through the shopping mall, window shopping what I can’t afford. I even get the bonus of stealing kisses whenever I want without the stares of strangers boring into my back.

As for that aforementioned candle light dinner, there is nothing romantic about it. No thanks to NEPA, it is as normal as sunrise, or how do you eat dinner when the power fails?